Goat Simulator Review

It's everyone's favourite mobile game now at the arcades: Flappy Goat!

  • Developer: Coffee Stain Studios
  • Publisher: Coffee Stain Studios
  • Release Date: 1 April 2014
  • Time Played: 2 hours

Once again, thanks to generous friends (thanks Choona) I managed to land a free copy of a game namely the infamous Goat Simulator. Apparently the game is developed by Coffee Stain Studios who were behind the popular first-person tower defence games Sanctum and Sanctum 2 so why on Earth would they make a game like Goat Simulator where "you no longer have to fantasize about being a goat, your dreams have finally come true!"? Bleaaats me...

Gameplay (2/5)
In Goat Simulator you play the role of a goat (surprise! surprise!) where it's your job to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting human population and be rewarded points and achievements for it. You're also able to do neat tricks like balancing yourself on two legs and even riding a bicycle. The game is admittedly better than walking simulators in the gameplay department and reminds me of skateboard games or games like Burnout Paradise where the aim of the game is to score points by performing certain tricks. The game doesn't have any ultimate goal so in that regard it shares similarities with sandbox games like Grand Theft Auto IV and Sleeping Dogs.

The game is amusing for awhile but it only took me about half an hour or maybe an hour tops before I was bored with the game. Sure it was funny the first time I destroyed a petrol station and it awarded me an achievement titled "Michael Bay!" but how many times can you do it before it stops being funny? How many times must you set people alight with exploding gas bottles before it ultimately become boring? I'm sure the answer varies from person to person, but it didn't take long for me.

Sound (4/5)
There aren't many many sound effects to speak of but the game has pretty good voice acting. I especially like the part when the goat says "Baaaaa!".

Music (3/5)
The game contains some humourous, discordant music that sounds like they hired a drunk Jewish band to perform which surprisingly fits the game's mood. There's nothing terribly good about the soundtrack though.

Graphics (3/5)
The graphics in Goat Simulator are slightly dated looking like a game developed several years ago. There's also the many ridiculous graphical glitches although the developer claims that they're in there intentionally to make the game more hilarious. Brings a whole new meaning to the old Software Engineering joke "it's not a bug guys, it's a feature!"

Replay (2/5)
Goat Simulator is humourous at times and good fun for an hour or two but after that I would say mileage may vary. For me, it only took a couple of hours before I had enough.

Apparently goats can climb ladders - in a freakish way of course

Polish (2/5)
It's easy to get stuck in terrain or have objects in the environment, even people, stick to you (and this is without using your goat's ability to lick objects and carry them along). Animations are primitive and buggy such as your neck growing ridiculously long and going limp when climbing ladders - not to mention the goat just tends to float up the ladder anyway (although how a goat should climb up a ladder is anyone's guess). Again the developers probably did this intentionally since it just looks so ridiculously creepy.

Score – 5/10

The developers admit quite frankly on their website that this isn't a great game and not only that, it was even released on April Fool's Day! Lowering your expectations may help you to appreciate this game more but ultimately it's only good for a few laughs before you get bored with it and never play it again. I confess that the only reason I decided to keep playing it after the first half hour was in order to get Steam Trading Cards to sell off...

If you want to get the game, you can get it on Steam.

If you like this game, you might like...

[ LINK: Official Goat Simulator website ]